Pandemic of NICE

We are dealing with a new pandemic.

A pandemic of “niceness.” Where toxic positivity and the insanely loud volume of inspirational speakers seems to mask the damage done by being “nice” with the pleasantries of “treat others how you want to be treated.”

Being nice for the sake of being nice can cause so much damage.

First, what is being nice? The definition of this may vary from person to person but I would argue that being nice solicits this image of someone smiling, speaking gently, avoiding confrontation or communicating very carefully and passively, and seeking a response from someone else validating that we are ‘nice.’

I don’t want to smile all the time. I have a serious resting face and I don’t feel like I need to coddle anyone’s emotions or inability to read others by smiling constantly. I refuse to be inauthentic.

I don’t want to speak gently. Sometimes I want you to feel the heat of my words so that I am HEARD.

I will not avoid confrontation merely for the sake of staying comfortable.

And I will NOT wait to see if you have received my prescence in a positive way because I refuse to live existing in a way that requires some sort of reassurance from others.

Nice-ness leads us down a path of inauthenticity, keeps us from connecting with others on a deeper and honest level, and keeps us from showing up as we are. Nice-ness focusses on others perception of us, regardless of what lies underneath.

HOWEVER

Kindness.

Kindness is a clear communicator.

Kindness is a boundary holder.

Kindness meets every scenario with thoughtfulness and the constant awareness of others humanity. It allows for me to meet others where they are at, and for me to show up as I am- flaws and all. True kindness requires a certain level of emotional intelligence (reading the room!) and vulnerability (courage to connect with others in TRUTH.)

Kindness is about how you treat others.

Niceness is about how you are seen.

I chose kindness.